Why Envy Can Be a Secret Weapon for Achieving Your Goals, According to Life Coach Stacy Kim

Envy has long been cast as a destructive vice, but in her new book, Envy: Why Wanting What They Have is the Key to Getting What You Want, social scientist and life coach Dr. Stacy Kim argues it can be a powerful tool for self-discovery. Kim, who drew on her coaching clients and her own experiences, says unexamined envy leads us astray, but when we investigate it, we uncover our true desires. She suggests asking whether the object of envy is a similar target—something within reach—or an intangible desire, and evaluating the intensity and duration of the feeling to gauge its importance. By identifying the specific domain of our envy, we can pinpoint what we care about and take action. Kim’s approach blends social science, philosophy, and practical coaching to transform a negative emotion into a catalyst for personal growth. The takeaway: instead of suppressing envy, use it as a roadmap to what you truly want—and go after it.